Pleasures Of Loving

Home ] How To Overcome Premature Ejaculation ] Does Fear Of Sex Cause PE? ] Adonis ] The Meaning Of Love ] Styles of Loving ] Andropause and Menopause - Styles of Loving ] [ Kissing - what it is and why it's so pleasurable ] Masturbation ] Sex During Pregnancy ] Feminism ] Oral Sex ] Oral Sex (2) ] Sex Positions ] Bisexuality ]

 

Video on kissing by Laci Green

Strangers Kiss For The First Time

 

KISSING

Kissing is almost universal; there are few countries where it is not used. It may indicate greeting, respect, affection or desire. In some circumstances kissing is almost obligatory, in some it is inappropriate. Kissing can be affectionate - between family members and friends, for example, or it can be erotic - as between lovers.

Some people kiss a lot, as a normal means of greeting or leave taking, while others reserve kissing chiefly for lovemaking. But of all the ways in which you might be able to please a woman, this is among the tops - spend a lot of tie on loveplay, like kissing, touching, caressing - that way, you really can honor a woman. And that will also increase her sexual desire, so you are both assured of a great time in bed.

The variations in erotic kissing are endless - light and soft short and intense, long, lingering.

Nibbling, gentle biting and sucking can be all added for extra effect. Most people like a variety of ways of kissing to try and express as precisely as possible the way they are feeling moment by moment, for kissing is an important means of communication between lovers.

The heaviest kiss of all - the "soul kiss," "tongue kiss "deep kiss" or "French kiss" - is the one in which partners explore their mouths with their tongues. Some people are put off by this practice, some enjoy it enormously - it is just another of the options. Some people confine kissing to their partner's lips but most enjoy some degree of kissing and being kissed elsewhere on the body.

People respond to different pressures and durations of kiss on all parts of the body. There is no particular virtue in kissing someone in a particular way in a particular place if either of you does not enjoy it, but any kissing with which both partners feel entirely comfortable is appropriate.

Q. "Is kissing the same as necking?"

A: "Not exactly. 'Necking' normally means kissing for a long period of time; if in addition the two people caress each other's bodies and fondle each other's genitals, it is known as 'petting."'

Q. "Is it true that you can tell how far you will get with someone just by the way they kiss?"

A: "I don't know the answer to that question. But I do know that if you are occupied with thinking about how far you will get while kissing you won't be enjoying the act or the moment for what it is. You will be a spectator at your own event. Thinking, planning, evaluating what will follow is intrusive to an act that is enjoyable in itself and may (or may not) naturally lead on to other mutually enjoyable acts.

Kissing can be a complete and fulfilling act in itself. It doesn't have to be followed by other sexual acts nor, conversely, is it obligatory to kiss before intercourse. I suspect you may find yourself enjoying kissing and other acts more if you rid yourself of the idea that kissing is just the first part of a ritual sequence."

Q. "When my 14-year-old goes to parties, they seem to spend most of their time kissing. That worries me a bit."

A: "What they are doing is exploring their awakening sexual interests and their need for contact. By the time young people have reached the age of 14 they will have seen so many people kissing in the movies and on TV that they are bound to think it is an appropriate part of growing up and they will want to try it No, don't worry - it is perfectly natural."

Q. "When I was younger, I remember kissing as a passionate, hungry kind of act. The more I kissed the better lover I thought I was and when I began kissing, intercourse was soon to follow. Now that I'm in my sixties, I find myself kissing in a lighter way, and enjoying the feeling of contact more. In fact, I feel quite satisfied with kissing and caressing as a complete sexual act."

A: "This is a not uncommon expression of feelings from older people. Early, eager sexual expression, which is sometimes fueled by anxiety and feelings of compulsion to do everything possible on every occasion, frequently gives way to more integrated, meaningful sexual acts that are the result of individual choice and experience.

These changes are not so much a result of aging as of maturing. People of all ages can benefit from being able to express tenderness and affection without having to go on to intercourse or indeed any other acts. Many people though - and young people in particular - feel they ought to have intercourse once they start expressing sexual feelings; they feel it is expected of them, and that it is the right thing to do.

Yet if you ask people their feelings they will quite often say they wish they didn't fee, obliged always to go on to intercourse. This is a case where establishing your own desires and communicating them to your partner is going to result in more fulfilling sexual expression."

  • There are some popular misconceptions about kissing:
  • kissing always leads to intercourse
  • women like kissing more than men
  • men don't like kissing because they would rather have intercourse
  • kissing is not a meaningful act in itself
  • only heterosexual people use kissing in their lovemaking