Pleasures Of Loving
We deal with common sexual questions, problems and issues; our aim is to reassure people that what they do in their sexual relationship is normal. We include questions an answers received by us in our practice as sex therapists. these questions reveal that even today, even when we are surrounded by sexual images on every side, there is still a need to educate people about the pleasures that sex can offer.....and because we believe that though all sex is good, it is even more enjoyable and pleasurable in a loving long term relationship, we have called this site Pleasures Of Loving.
PREMATURE EJACULATION (PE)
Knowing how to stop premature ejaculation is more about changing your behavior during sex and adopting a different mental attitude than anything physical such as popping a pill or using an anesthetic lotion on your penis.
It might be a bit hard for men who have trouble stopping PE to understand that the cause of rapid climax lies in over-stimulation, or more accurately, over-arousal, than in any physical issue. But sex therapists have found through many years' work with rapid ejaculators that the quickest way to knowing how to control premature ejaculation is via a program of behavioral change in association with a different mental attitude.
Basically men who do not know how to stop premature ejaculation are not making any changes in their mental attitude and behavior - the changes which would allow them to remain at consistently high levels of sexual arousal for a long time without coming. There are several reasons for this.
The first is that men don't focus on their own feelings and sensations, so they don't know that they are near to the point of ejaculation; another is that they don't know when to change their behavior (which generally means knowing how to slow down sexual arousal, and knowing how to stop getting stimulated while making love); and a third is that they simply don't know what they need to do in order to overcome PE.
Some people have reported that they feel their most powerful physical orgasms when they have oral sex because the stimulation of mouth on penis or mouth on the clitoral area is so intense. Others report that intercourse gives them their most satisfying orgasms because of the feelings of closeness to their partners. Yet other people report having their most satisfying orgasms through masturbation with a partner.
There are no objective standards for measuring the 'best' kind of orgasm and ejaculation.
How it feels best varies from person to person, and from occasion to occasion.
There is something which many people shy away from exploring and that is the risky subject of female ejaculation. I say "risky" because the truth is that people either believe in this or reject it out of hand. Yet it is a reality and men and women both seem to enjoy it. You can read about female ejaculate here.
Experience teaches people what they most enjoy. And while intimacy can lead to both men and women experiencing all kinds of problems during intercourse, it's notable that lack of arousal can lead to tearing of the delicate tissues of the vagina and penile sheath - which in turn can allow yeast infection to develop. The redness and irritation of the skin when yeast infection strikes can be hard to bear. So I recommend a yeast infection home remedy, such as Yeast Infection No More by Linda Allen.
Before I talk about techniques of lasting longer in bed, it's worth remembering that there are many benefits to gaining ejaculatory control. For one thing, you'll feel much more confident about yourself as a lover, and probably much more confident as a man. Your partner will certainly be very appreciative of the effort you've made to slow down and even stop yourself coming. And last but not least, your own orgasm is most likely to feel much more rewarding.
Now I should point out that stopping premature ejaculation and being able to last much longer – in other words having greater staying power – in bed isn't necessarily a route to a woman having an orgasm during sexual intercourse through vaginal stimulation alone. It's certainly possible that if you make love for longer your partner might come in this way, but there again she may require clitoral stimulation either by your hand or her own hand, or from a vibrator to reach orgasm.
And it's also important to realize that for some couples stopping premature ejaculation is not an issue: if both partners are happy with the way the couple have sex, even if the man reaches his climax quickly, putting a lot of effort into trying to stop PE may not be worthwhile.
Finally it's also very important to remember that there may be some particularly personal factor which allows you to overcome this problem and exercise long-lasting control.
You may discover this by experience, too: I'm thinking of one man I knew who started climaxing very rapidly indeed in the final stages of a relationship. When he got together with a new partner who he'd actually known for years, and between whom there was a high level of trust and acceptance, he found that he was able to control his ejaculation with no difficulty whatsoever. In his case, high level of trust with his partner was a key factor in making love for as long as he and his partner wished.
So all that said, what are the exercises that will allow you to retrain your body and mind so that you stop coming too quickly? We look at these in the next page.
Kissing is almost universal; there are few countries where it is not used. It may indicate greeting, respect, affection or desire. In some circumstances kissing is almost obligatory, in some it is inappropriate. Kissing can be affectionate - between family members and friends, for example, or it can be erotic - as between lovers. Some people kiss a lot, as a normal means of greeting or leave taking, while others reserve kissing chiefly for lovemaking. Read more here...
Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of one's sex organs to achieve pleasure. It may or may not result in orgasm. Masturbation comes from the Latin masturbare, which is itself a running together of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (to defile), in the sense of "to defile with the hand."
The built-in notion of defiling has remained with us, even though masturbation causes no physical or mental harm. Masturbation is second only to sex with a partner as our most important source of sexual pleasure, and yet it is still surrounded by guilt and anxiety.
This is partly due to ignorance of the fact that masturbation cannot be harmful and partly due to centuries of religious teaching that masturbation is sinful which have imbued shame and guilt into the psyche of Western men and women. For all kinds of sexual difficulties around shame and guilt, counseling can be helpful. Read more about masturbation here...
Oral sex or oral-genital sex means both mouth contact with the vagina, which is called cunnilingus, and mouth contact with the penis, which is called fellatio. Cunnilingus comes from an alternative Latin word for vulva, cunnus, and from the Latin word for licking, lingere.
Fellatio comes from the Latin word fellare, which means to suck. Oral sex given simultaneously by two people to each other is commonly called 69 or, from the French, soixante-neuf. Ici est l'information en Français pour éjaculation prématurée ou ejaculation précoce. Read more here...